(My traditional Holiday post)
“Yeah, riiiight…” “If you’re not worrying, you don’t understand the situation…”
Okay, we’ve all been there – had some irritatingly cheerful soul spout some nonsense about “don’t worry…think positive” or some such grating platitude, when we’re tangled with a situation that scares us. What’s wrong with the goody-goody unicorn rainbow person that he/she doesn’t get it! I’ve got to worry about it, because if I don’t…”
- Is some situation going to crater or explode because you stopped worrying?
- Is someone going to think less of you if you stop your worry and suffering on account of someone else?
- Well, maybe the latter, but that’s a relationship needing a re-set.
What IS worry, anyway? Worry is creating something you do not want. Worry is the action of focusing your thinking on something that you fear and do not want. Now, how on earth does that thinking improve anything? It can’t. It only increases your awareness of what else is “wrong” or “un-desired.” It’s very easy to worry about a mole hill - then find yourself with a mountain of grief.
Hank’s Curious Math
A lot of people worry about getting older, as if worry will somehow reverse the process. Perception continues to rule. You may know of someone who is “old” at thirty and others who are “young” at eighty. The difference? Perspective. A good example is Hank.
Jovial 60-year-old Hank is smitten with 30-year-old Bonita, who is equally enchanted with Hank. They become engaged. “Goodness,” Hank’s friends remark, in horror, that “she’s half your age!”
“She’ll catch up,” replies Hank calmly. “When I’m 90 she’ll be two-thirds my age.”
In Hank’s perspective, at some point in time, they may very well be the same age. It’s a curious math – but a great attitude!
People who are unhappy equally like to share their misery, or, in most instances, are so practiced in worrying and focusing on what they don’t like they lose their awareness of HOW they are thinking. Adapting an old Russian joke:
The Englishman thought for a moment. “Genie, I wish that I owned a great estate with a full staff to wait on me and my family.” Poof! It was done.
The Frenchman thought for a moment. “Genie, I wish to be a famous poet and have hundreds of beautiful women clamoring to make love with me.” Poof! It was done.
Genie turned to the Russian. “And what wish may I grant for you?”
The Russian thought for a moment. “My neighbor has a new car and I do not. Wreck my neighbor’s car!”