First, a little exercise. Place an object on the floor in front of you. Now, TRY to pick it up. Repeat. Obviously, either you pick up the object or you do not pick it up. For our purposes, “try” has no meaning.
So, when it comes to happiness, either you choose it or you do not. “But wait, George, of course I want to be happy, but don’t you understand how hard it is right now?”
And the point is…? “I can’t let myself be happy until so-and-so gets her act together, or brother gets a job, or, or, or a LONG list of things that have to happen before I can relax and enjoy myself."
My question is: Is there ever a point in the future when you would allow yourself to be happy? “Sure. Some day. Maybe. Hopefully when I die…” Now that’s a bummer – got to “die” in order to be happy!
Somehow I think we’ve gotten a bit confused about being Happy. Happiness is not an achievement. It is a state of Being. That's not to mean that "doing stuff" isn't fun and joyful - it can be. The measure is how you feel before and during the activity. Are you excited? Anticipating it? Energized? If so, then your activities, and thus your achievements, are part of your happiness.
Now, if you feel "obligated" to do something, or you dread doing something, or you postpone doing something, then your feelings are alerting you that something is out of sync. You can do whatever it is, but you will not en-joy it – it’s not a part of your happiness. Granted, your actions may please others, and that's good, but if pleasing them is the only way you can feel good and en-joy your life, then your experience will be jumble of highs and lows with many lows.
Happiness does not come from external situations, conditions, or people. You decide whether you are happy.
Like picking up the object, either you are happy Being or you are not.
is wherever you are
doing what ever you are doing
at any given moment.
So, who decides if you should be happy, and what’s best for you?
On one side are folks who answer quickly: “I decide if I am happy.” On the other side are folks who answer quickly “I decide if you should be happy.” It’s easy to see why there appears to be so much struggle and angst – those two positions are polarity – opposite ends, and as such, repel each other. Which are you?
Are you choosing to be happy? Or, are you waiting for someone or something else's approval or permission in order to “feel” happy?
What we call happiness is another way of describing a dominant feeling or emotional state. It’s on the high frequency end towards JOY, which appears to be as delightful a state of being as we can manage at the moment in our spiritual evolution. We equate JOY with LOVE.
People often describe their happiness in terms of loving and being loved. Indeed, we do feel happy when we are loved and we feel happy when we love. This is unconditional love, no strings attached. That which we call Love cannot have conditions or strings for if they are present, it is not love, but something else.
I like to substitute the word APPRECIATION for Love. They are virtually synonymous. Yet when we appreciate someone or something there's no "exchange" necessary - what are you going to do for me? Appreciation is just that - a positive, uplifting, joyful feeling of enjoying the focus of your appreciation. Simple.
Sometimes folks fuss about how silly this concept is - "Choose happiness" or choose whatever and it'll happen. They don't believe in magic. Me neither. It's not magic. It's physics. You know how it works because you choose and create your experience every moment.
An example: You decide you would enjoy dining out. You make a decision that you will go out to eat and at once you begin drawing to you all the resources necessary to create that desire. You select a time, you choose what restaurant, you may invite a friend or someone who you believe would enjoy dining out as much as you. You determine the means of exchange for the meal (a.k.a cash, credit, debit card), and time passes, moving you closer to the event. And then you go out to eat - having determined how you would get there physically - you drove your car this time.
This is creation, this is how it works. You do it constantly and you’re good at it. What we often miss, is that we can create our level of joy, our experience, just as easily as we can create a dining experience, or shopping experience, or going to work experience.
Finally, consider the word Enjoy. Enjoy and happy are twins. If you enjoy something, you’re happy. If you’re happy, you enjoy. Add a hyphen and you have EN - JOY. En meaning to bring together, to cause, in this case, the feeling of joy. When you enjoy something you bring together your experience (or observation) with Joy. The hyphen is your decision, your choice, your desire.
En-joy the day. Choose happiness. I mean, you are free to choose whatever you wish. Why not be happy?