The Pope did it.

Gwen was mad at the Pope. In talking to a friend, she told of her gripes with the Pontiff, his positions on various matters, and how her life was miserable because of him.

The friend was aghast at this revelation. “Goodness,” asked the friend, “that’s terrible! What exactly did the Pope do to you to make you so angry?”

Gwen complained about his positions. The friend again asked what exactly the Pope had done to her to hurt her so much. Finally, she blurted out: “It’s the Church!” The Catholic Church was her problem.

“That’s a shame,” said her friend. “What exactly has the Church done to hurt you so much to make you so angry?”

Again, Gwen mumbled a few things but was not able to specify what actions the Church had taken to make her life so miserable. “It’s the Parish! I’m mad at our Parish!” she finally conceded.

The friend repeated the same question. Gwen was uneasy and unable to state what the Parish administration had done to hurt her so badly. Another question from the friend. Then, finally: “It’s Father Snead! He hates me.”

 

“What terrible thing did Father Snead do to you that hurt you so?” asked the patient friend.

Gwen abruptly left the room, shouting that “Marie got the job that I wanted.”

Marie was hired because she was proficient with certain technology and applications which Gwen wasn’t. Yet Gwen couldn’t, or wouldn’t, accept that fact. She was hurt when she didn’t get the job and became angry.

But because she wasn’t able to accept that, and didn’t want to be angry with Marie, Gwen launched her anger all the way to the Vatican and His Holiness.

Projecting anger at someone, something, far away is a method many people use to cope with their angry feelings.

 Does it work? Not if relieving the anger is the goal. Projected anger masks the more genuine problem—in this case, loss of a desired job. It was simply easier for Gwen to stay angry, than accept the true reason for not being hired. She didn’t have the necessary skills and didn't want to get them.

There’s a strange logic to this technique: “If my anger, or problem, is caused by something SO big”—like the government, all white people, all black people, all men, all women, the system, etc., “then I am a victim of their wickedness.” This is also known as “It’s not my fault.”

Perception = Reality. If a person perceives himself or herself as a victim of some great evil, then the reality of actually being a victim will self-fulfill. The Pope didn’t do anything to Gwen, yet in her mind she made him the cause of her pain and suffering. This is a faulty perception. A faulty perception, given great energy, doesn’t correct anything. It’s just faulty.  But you can live a lifetime with it.  An irrational idea, passionately held, is still an irrational idea.

...from Habits, Patterns, and Thoughts That Go Bump in the Night

SON OF A @#$@!!!

Cut to the chase:  Forgiveness is for your benefit, not the S.O.B.

Now why is that?

Granted, if you have done something to someone that you later wish you hadn't, and the someone tells you not to worry, it's done with, etc., you (in the role of the S.O.B.) do feel better.  The act of their forgiveness removes your feeling of guilt.  This equation requires that you (in the role of S.O.B to the other person) recognize that you acted in a way contrary to your true self and you wish to make amends, undo the damage, etc., fix it!  The other person may or may not bestow 'forgiveness' but the sheer willingness to make amends results in relief for you.  Okay, got that.  Now to the main point.

"To err is human, to forgive divine."  Thus said poet Alexander Pope.  There are many ways to interpret this truism, all correct.  And, like a parable, reveal different levels of understanding.  Pope implies that forgiveness - releasing obligations from another - is close to the nature of the Divine.  Errors - thoughts and behaviors that result in harm or negativity - are human, that is, separate from the Divine.  (The capitalized Divine is a placeholder for whatever description you have of First Cause, Source Energy, God, Creator...)

Many people have difficulty with forgiveness.  They believe that to "forgive" someone is to "let the scoundrel get away with it!"  Thus leading to conditional forgiveness - when you do this/that, then I'll let your off the hook!  That's a recipe for continued misery, until the person becomes so miserable (a.k.a. hit the bottom) that he or she literally gives up (trying to make the other person behave or change) and thus finally allows a change in thinking.

That's why forgiveness brings relief - it changes the focus of your attention away from the S.O.B. and whatever that was about, to something else.  The more you think about, give attention to, lie awake at night reviewing mental scripts, and such about the offending situation and S.O.B, the more similar feelings you'll attract.  The Law of Attraction never ceases and is always in play with unerring neutrality.  Whatever you think about you attract/experience more of the same.  That's just the way it works.  Like gravity, you can work with it or not.  It's still there, doing its thing.

It seems that the fear that the S.O.B. will "get away with it" is the issue.  Somehow, we think that we must feel anger towards the S.O.B. and curse him or her for their dastardly actions.  Does the S.O.B. care?  Does the S.O.B. give a rat's ass that you're angry or upset with him/her?  No.  And that can make you even more angry!  Angry feelings produce more angry situations.  Now, if you truly enjoy feeling angry and devoting your mental energy to another, then you're certainly free to do that.  Law of Attraction will assist you.

I think that most people would rather feel good than feel bad.  I mean, why do anything unless the result, or expected result, is a good feeling?  Therefore, when holding a resentment or angry feeling towards someone, there is some kind of expectation that there will be a "good" feeling as a result.  "Yes, George," you say.  "I'll feel great when that son-of-a-bitch gets what's coming to him!"  How long will that take?  Do you have the power to give the get?  How are you feeling in the mean time?  Remember, this is about YOU, not the S.O.B.!

The Law of Attraction insures that the S.O.B. will experience what he/she gives attention too.  You don't have to worry about that.  In fact, you don't have to worry at all.  If you do, it's because you want to.  And if you want to, then you're enthralled by the S.O.B. and not acting in your interest.  (You know that many S.O.B.'s love owning your attention!  Makes them feel powerful.)

In a sense, you mortgage your happiness to whatever the S.O.B. does.  That's an arrangement that doesn't favor you!   Every day your target your resentment, anger, etc., the more equity in the mortgage.  Oh, by the way, the equity goes to the S.O.B.  Forgiveness is your way out of this bad deal.

Forgiveness is to THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.  You cannot become free of someone if you keep them in mind.  "I forgive you, you miserable piece of humanity."  Those are words, not intentions.  You do not have to, and really can't, think about the injury, injustice, etc., in the desire to forgive.  If you forgive, you forgive.  Which means that you give yourself permission to think and give attention to something you feel good about (or certainly feel better about.)  Do that for a bit and it becomes easier.  Keep it up and you won't even notice that you no longer dwell on the rascal or miscreant.  You're living your life, for your health and wellbeing now.

And, you can always use the magic word.

The More I Thought About IT, The Angrier I Got!

You know how it goes!  As the day progressed, I realized that the more I thought about “it” the angrier I felt.  The transgression by a co-worker was irritating and somewhat irksome, yet the more I “thought” about the minor offense, the stronger I felt about it.  About that time the “Duh!” factor came forth to reveal the formula for creating emotional mountains out of mole hills.

The Duh Factor is that moment when we can see the forest and the trees; that happy moment when mentally we gain a splash of perspective on what we’ve been doing and how it directly affects what we experience.  “The more I thought about it (the initial offense) the angrier I felt (really, really pissed after tossing all night!)”  Duh.

Why not spend the same amount of mental energy (and burned calories) thinking about something good or desired rather than on something negative or unwanted?  Duh illuminates self-evident truths:  The more one thinks about something, the greater the emotional response to the thought.  Thinking, once again, is the important activity.

“So what are you saying, George?  That if I think goody Pollyanna thoughts my life will be a bed of roses, red wine, dark chocolate, hot rolls and butter?”  If you like roses, red wine, dark chocolate, hot rolls and butter you’re more likely to experience them if you think about them rather than thinking about that foul tempered so-and-so who you know is plotting against you.

American mystic and philosopher Charles Fillmore once wrote that thoughts held in mind produce after their own kind.  The more I thought about it, the angrier I felt.  Well, I have proved that.  It is true, simple, self-evident and undeniable.  Duh.

The tricky part is becoming more aware of how I am thinking and to consciously choose the activity of my mind.  I might want to fuss and fight, and thus so think.  But if that’s not how I really want to spend my time, then I am free to think according to what I want.  I know, having demonstrated, that the more I think about something, the stronger  the associated feeling.