SON OF A @#$@!!!

Cut to the chase:  Forgiveness is for your benefit, not the S.O.B.

Now why is that?

Granted, if you have done something to someone that you later wish you hadn't, and the someone tells you not to worry, it's done with, etc., you (in the role of the S.O.B.) do feel better.  The act of their forgiveness removes your feeling of guilt.  This equation requires that you (in the role of S.O.B to the other person) recognize that you acted in a way contrary to your true self and you wish to make amends, undo the damage, etc., fix it!  The other person may or may not bestow 'forgiveness' but the sheer willingness to make amends results in relief for you.  Okay, got that.  Now to the main point.

"To err is human, to forgive divine."  Thus said poet Alexander Pope.  There are many ways to interpret this truism, all correct.  And, like a parable, reveal different levels of understanding.  Pope implies that forgiveness - releasing obligations from another - is close to the nature of the Divine.  Errors - thoughts and behaviors that result in harm or negativity - are human, that is, separate from the Divine.  (The capitalized Divine is a placeholder for whatever description you have of First Cause, Source Energy, God, Creator...)

Many people have difficulty with forgiveness.  They believe that to "forgive" someone is to "let the scoundrel get away with it!"  Thus leading to conditional forgiveness - when you do this/that, then I'll let your off the hook!  That's a recipe for continued misery, until the person becomes so miserable (a.k.a. hit the bottom) that he or she literally gives up (trying to make the other person behave or change) and thus finally allows a change in thinking.

That's why forgiveness brings relief - it changes the focus of your attention away from the S.O.B. and whatever that was about, to something else.  The more you think about, give attention to, lie awake at night reviewing mental scripts, and such about the offending situation and S.O.B, the more similar feelings you'll attract.  The Law of Attraction never ceases and is always in play with unerring neutrality.  Whatever you think about you attract/experience more of the same.  That's just the way it works.  Like gravity, you can work with it or not.  It's still there, doing its thing.

It seems that the fear that the S.O.B. will "get away with it" is the issue.  Somehow, we think that we must feel anger towards the S.O.B. and curse him or her for their dastardly actions.  Does the S.O.B. care?  Does the S.O.B. give a rat's ass that you're angry or upset with him/her?  No.  And that can make you even more angry!  Angry feelings produce more angry situations.  Now, if you truly enjoy feeling angry and devoting your mental energy to another, then you're certainly free to do that.  Law of Attraction will assist you.

I think that most people would rather feel good than feel bad.  I mean, why do anything unless the result, or expected result, is a good feeling?  Therefore, when holding a resentment or angry feeling towards someone, there is some kind of expectation that there will be a "good" feeling as a result.  "Yes, George," you say.  "I'll feel great when that son-of-a-bitch gets what's coming to him!"  How long will that take?  Do you have the power to give the get?  How are you feeling in the mean time?  Remember, this is about YOU, not the S.O.B.!

The Law of Attraction insures that the S.O.B. will experience what he/she gives attention too.  You don't have to worry about that.  In fact, you don't have to worry at all.  If you do, it's because you want to.  And if you want to, then you're enthralled by the S.O.B. and not acting in your interest.  (You know that many S.O.B.'s love owning your attention!  Makes them feel powerful.)

In a sense, you mortgage your happiness to whatever the S.O.B. does.  That's an arrangement that doesn't favor you!   Every day your target your resentment, anger, etc., the more equity in the mortgage.  Oh, by the way, the equity goes to the S.O.B.  Forgiveness is your way out of this bad deal.

Forgiveness is to THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.  You cannot become free of someone if you keep them in mind.  "I forgive you, you miserable piece of humanity."  Those are words, not intentions.  You do not have to, and really can't, think about the injury, injustice, etc., in the desire to forgive.  If you forgive, you forgive.  Which means that you give yourself permission to think and give attention to something you feel good about (or certainly feel better about.)  Do that for a bit and it becomes easier.  Keep it up and you won't even notice that you no longer dwell on the rascal or miscreant.  You're living your life, for your health and wellbeing now.

And, you can always use the magic word.

A Child Speaks!

Anyone who's ever been around a two-year old has heard it.  It's one of the most remarkable declarations of the human experience.  It reverberates throughout every cell, every experience since the beginning, and every moment of everyday in every lifetime.

You ain't the boss of me!

The recipient of the declaration is sometimes a parent, more often an older sibling.  But isn't it remarkable that someone with only two years experience on the planet is able to articulate the true relationship between self and everything else?  (You said something to that effect as a toddler but, sadly, suppressed recollections of those key years.)  Yet the spirit remains very aware.  For instance:

You've got to do that!

For a fleeting instant, barely noticeable, but present none-the-less, was a bit of "shock" upon reading the previous sentence.  The shock is the instinctive awareness that whoever/whatever issued the demand that "you've got to do that!" ain't the boss of you.  You may or may not go along with the demand or conform to the behavior - that's your choice - but the instinct is a powerful reminder of the birthright of genuine freedom.   That little flash of anger is a direct link with what some call our "higher" self - the part of us not energizing the body.  Such links are recognized as emotions, a truly marvelous language.

As we live longer, and move away from our two-year-old self, we are barraged by thoughts, beliefs, and creations of others.  It's how we learn, it's how we establish our relationship with all else.  And that is fun.  What's not fun is when we slip into forcing ourselves to think, believe, or act in a way contrary to our true nature.  Our higher self gets our attention with negative emotions.  The two-year old, not having "learned" how to "behave" feels that emotional communication sharply and expresses it immediately "you ain't the boss of me!"  After a couple of decades, and certainly more, that emotional communication may not be understood for what it is and interpreted as a response to something another person has done to us.

"You ain't the boss of me!"

Of course the flip side is true.  Good feeling emotions are communications that we are more aligned with our true nature.   And, through the decades, it's possible to place those feelings in the same context as the negative, that is, interpreted as a response to something another person has done for us.  The problem with the latter is becoming beholden to someone/something else for happiness and well being.  That never works, because that is not the source of the desired state of being/feeling.

If we're not satisfied with current affairs and situations, then a first measure for improvement could be recognizing who we've allowed to be the boss of me, then, like our two-year old, assert the truth.